no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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