i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my shit smells like andre
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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