Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
As shirtless as possible
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
