conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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