Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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