I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
