after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
