we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
