I want to make a zoo with you.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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