he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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