since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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