you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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