some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if i died would you start the facebook group?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
