My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
