so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
