yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
