everyone is single if you try hard enough
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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