I looked at my own cervix.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
