I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
