A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
