It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
