We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
