and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
