R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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