We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
