Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
