Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
