i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
