i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
