i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
