is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
