We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
