Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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