And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
