i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
why is half of my head shaved?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
