I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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