Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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