"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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