i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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