Nicole vs. Life
he shaved USA in his pubs
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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