Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
