i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
