real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
