My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
