one might say we're banned from that church
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
