...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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