He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize