yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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