she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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