you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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