ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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