Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
