Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
