Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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