awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
